STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Dick very happy bro
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
