you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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