I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
