I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
