we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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