do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize