So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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