New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
whose parrot is this?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
