well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
