Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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