She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
