dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
