I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
