Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
