I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
