mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
