Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
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