Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
