I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
