can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
