Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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