my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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