Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
