Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
