Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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