oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
