Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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