Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
