sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
