we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
