I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
