I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
