mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
