where am i from again
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
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i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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