Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
