You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
