he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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