I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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