he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
