i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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