you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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