He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Randomize
