i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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