I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
