Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
home. puking in laundry basket.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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