I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
