Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
