Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
