Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
