Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize