Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
