Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
farters have to be the big spoon...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
