Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
