wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
