I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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