How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Come share oat with me in your robe
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
