Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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