just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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