I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
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after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
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Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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