I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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