I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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