I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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