Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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